A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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