Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize