If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
