by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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