He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
