I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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