Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
