we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
