So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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