when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
