Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
