So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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