Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
FUCK WHALES
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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