Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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