then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
