but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i think im in europe. pls send help
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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