we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
