Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
