Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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