just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
