Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You can't special order awesome
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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