i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
