i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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