He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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