Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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