Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This gyro tastes like lonliness
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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