Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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