i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
