I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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