Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
