Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
