Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
