dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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