My sheets look like a crime scene.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
