he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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