idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If that was your dad, he is hot
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
