after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
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we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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