My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
