I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
