There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
