So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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