He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He's on the porch naked. Help.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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