my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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