Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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