i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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