i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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