Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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