Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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