Porn is love you can see.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
