I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize