Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
