I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
