theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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