As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
