Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
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Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
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I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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