please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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