Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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