I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
