to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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