Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
